Green-with-Envy Sugar Snapped Peas...among other things

Today, I went to Brooks Brothers. I felt ridiculously out of place at first, but circumstances dictate that I must shop there...however after being warmly serviced by the nice elderly Brooks Brothers sales associate...and having seen all the apparel that the store offers, I decided right there and then that I should reinvent my lifestyle and become a lil more prep-douche in order to warrant shopping at Brooks Bros. LOL.

* what a majestic entrance!!!

Anyways, I'm not writing this blog to gush about Brooks Brothers. Rather, I'm writing this blog to share my recipes with ya'll. Today's line up consists of
Green-with-Envy Sugar Snapped Snow Peas. Why are they so aptly named? Well, read along with me, and you'll find out!

Green-with-Envy Sugar Snapped Snow Peas 

Ingredients (from left to right): salt, pepper, two bags of sugar snap snow peas (totalling 1lb.), minced garlic (ya'll know my m.o. - i'm lazy!)

not pictured: wok, olive oil, and cup of water

1) Grab a wok. Turn the stove onto high and drizzle olive oil into the pan. Once the pan heats up, turn the stove down to its "between medium-high" setting.

2) Scoop a spoonfull of garlic and place it onto the side of the wok to avoid splashing it in the olive oil.

3) Swiftly dump the vegetables into the wok as if you were a ninja.

4) Grab a spatula and stir the vegetables around in the wok using your wrist skills. Dexterity is the key. Remember, you're a ninja.

* look at my wrist. notice how they're curved a little bit? that's the true sign of dexterity. But if you are a pianist, you must not curve your wrist like so unless you are at the end of playing a staccato.

5) Add a little bit of water to the the vegetables and stir it some more. The water helps soften the peas, since they're so hard.

* I've noticed in my travels that water usually helps to soften objects....

6) Cover the wok with a lid for about 1 minute (depending on how soft you want it). The longer you keep the lid on, the softer it becomes. I like my veggies hard. It adds texture to the peas.

7) Remove the lid. Voila! You're done! Do a victory lap to celebrate your recent accomplishment!

* look at how green those peas are. mmm so delicious. this is why they're called "green with envy." i would say this is the only time that the greener you are with envy, the better the circumstance.

Ok...so I was actually feeling on a roll today, so I also cooked up something extra!

Evan's Shrimp 2.0 
This is a variation of my original shrimp dish. The recipe essentially stays the same, except the seasoning differs.

Ingredients: PAM, shrimp skewers, skillet, chopped scallions, chopped cilantro, olive oil, and "Baron's Herb and Garlic Seasoning"

* Baron's Herb and Garlic Seasoning

1) Place the shrimp skewers into an aluminum container and drizzle them with olive oil. Place the scallions, cilantro, and seasoning onto the shrimps and mix heavily into the shrimp with your hands. Don't be shy to grope the shrimp; you won't get arrested. I promise.

2) Simultaneously, place your skillet onto the stove and set it on high.

3) Once you're done seasoning the shrimps, change the setting on the stove to medium. Spray the skillet with PAM cooking oil and place the shrimps onto the the skillet.

4) Follow the same exact procedures as my original shrimp recipe.

5) This is how the shrimps should turn out.

I've really outdone myself. Unfortunately, the price of whipping up two dishes is that I'm now beat tired from all this cooking! On the plus side, my kitchen now smells the way I imagine Bobby Flay's kitchen would smell...